I’ve been receiving energy-work for as long as I’ve been giving it...but I recently started working weekly with a therapist for the first time in years.

I’ve chosen to make a living holding space for others...but I haven’t given myself the same time and space to be witnessed.

Every session I’ve had so far, I’ve cried. And I don’t mean an occasional tear here and there, I mean I am letting it RIP. And not because I’m going through any major loss or depression or anything...in fact, my life is changing and transforming in the most amazing of ways right now.

I cry because someone is holding the space for me to be witnessed. I cry because someone else truly wants to SEE me and has a real interest in knowing my deepest thoughts and feelings, along with watching every move I make in the time we have together.

I cry because I feel like I MATTER again and I’ve spent way too long feeling like I didn’t. I spent way to much time putting everyone else’s needs and desires before my own.

And it’s different then sharing with a friend...for me there’s always some place inside where I feel like I need to reciprocate or keep the sharing balanced when I’m being that intimate with a friend. It’s such a relief to have 50-minutes every week where I can just make it 110% about me.

It’s also so beautiful to remember that I get to do this for people for a living. Lots of times I’m so focused on what energy needs to be cleared with someone that I forgotten how valuable it is to just hold space and give someone else 110% of my attention and willingness to see them. That in of itself is transformative.

And I’m grateful now that I’m finding the balance between the two. It feels like starting therapy is just one of the ways in which I’m beginning (again) to own the “Receiver” in Keri Sender-Receiver.