ELIMINATING SELF-DOUBT

Self-Doubt. It’s a doozy.

Dare I say it may be the biggest fallacy in the way of us fulfilling our Divine Potential and allowing all of our dreams to come true.

Somewhere early-on along our journey here in this body, something happened to us. When that something happened, we made a decision that we were bad, wrong, not good enough and unworthy.

This is where we first began to doubt ourselves.

As time went on, things would happen that would remind and reinforce this idea us that we aren’t worthy...and the doubt would double up.

We may have had big dreams for ourselves and the world, but we built evidence and talked ourselves into an absurd and false storyline that we don’t matter, or that we can’t matter that much, or that our contribution to the world can’t really be that big.

Aren’t you ready to step into a new storyline that reflects a more confident, worthy and capable YOU?

Something happened to me recently that reminded me of the importance of eliminating my own self-doubt.

My friend and I were drinking Chai in her kitchen here in the jungles of Hawa’i on a beautiful Saturday afternoon before we were to embark on a fun hiking adventure to a secluded beach nearby.

All of sudden, we hear nearby voices of some men yelling. We rush out of the kitchen to find three young hunters with rifles calling for their dog that went stray on my friends’ land.

My friend starts to chastize the hunters, asks them what they are doing trespassing, and explains to them that she has cats that live here.

Then everything starts to move real slow.

I turn my head one way and watch as the black cat named Hina -- named after the Hawaiian Goddess of the Dark of the Moon --  jumps down from a tree to inspect the unwelcomed hunters that just arrived.
 
I turn my head the other way and watch as the hunting dog caught his first glimpse of Hina. He dashes for her, and before my friend and I could intervene the dog is attacking Hina.

It all happened so quick. Before we knew it, the hunters and the dog are gone, and a very injured Hina leaps underneath the nearby outdoor lua (toliet) to find respite.

The shock of what just happened hits my friend and I. She lays on the Earth next to the lua to comfort Hina as the cat coughs up blood and bellies out cries.

At first I don’t know what to do with myself or how to help.

After a few minutes of a “freeze” response, I realize the best thing I can do to help is to leave my friend alone to console Hina, and for me to go conduct a remote energy-healing on Hina from another part of the land.

So I find a grassy patch, grab my Tarot cards and get to work...

I primarily facilitate energy-clearings by allowing Spirit to work through me, and through the assistance of the Archangels, the Ascended Masters, and the personal angels and guides of both myself and the Being that I’m working on.

Never before have I seen and felt all the Light Beings’ presence so strongly.

I watch in my third eye as Archangel Raphael wraps Hina in a pink and green light.

I feel the monkey God Hanuman come to help and the Elephant God Ganesha as well.

I feel angels and guides healing Hina’s underbelly and her internal organs.

As I ask Spirit questions and pull Tarot cards for guidance, I am amazed at how positive the cards that came up are.

All signs are pointing to a miraculous healing and recovery. The dog seemed to have injured Hina’s two hind legs, but I am receiving messages that even those would work fine again.

When my friend takes a break from consoling Hina, she finds me and tells me that it isn’t looking good. Hina is starting to have those glazed over “Death” eyes.

I meekly attempt to assure my friend that my visions and sense is saying otherwise...but am I doubting myself. I am doubting the healing I was facilitating and the guidance I am receiving...

Hina doesn’t move from out underneath the lua that night or over the next couple of days. She isn’t eating or drinking and my friend is preparing for the worst.

My friend visits Hina with food and water every day, but it’s still unclear what kind of recovery she will have. Even if she survives the internal bleeding, it seems unlikely that Hina will ever be able to use her back legs again.

Ten days go by and Hina stays hidden to rest.

One night while I am home on the other side of the island, Hina comes into my awareness so strongly and I start having flashbacks of the night she was attacked. I start to feel worry that something has shifted.

I reach out to my friend to let her know what I am feeling and she tells me that a day and a half before, Hina had disappeared.

Four days go by without any sign of Hina.

We are coming to terms with the fact that she has gone off somewhere to die.

It’s confusing for me to hear this.

Again I feel myself fill with sadness and self-doubt.

Maybe I was only imagining the healing?

Maybe all the Angels and Beings and messages aren’t real after all?

Maybe they are just a product of wishful thinking, something I am making up?

Is it all just a fantasy, a delusion and illusion?

Two days later, I receive a text from my friend with a picture of Hina laying on the table in my friends’ kitchen that says, “Guess who’s back, and walking and jumping without a scrach?!”

Not only has Hina survived, her body is back to normal.

The whole experience has been magical.

Through the trauma and experience of Hina’s attack, I was reminded of who I really am and what I am really capable of.

I am a powerful energetic healer and I can make miracles happen. I facilitate shifts in reality and create space for transformation.

And I will no longer allow anyone - including myself - to ever to imply otherwise.

It’s time for all of us to remember who we really are and to confidently step fully into our Divine gifts and contributions for the healing and transformation of this planet.

It’s time for us all to let go of the self-doubt that’s in the way of us unlocking who we really are.

Here’s an Eliminating Self-Doubt MP3 Energetic Clearing that I created to assist with this process. I'm offering it to you for FREE until July 1, 2019. 

Download it now and listen to it often so that you too can remember who you really are. You can download the clearing Here.

Post-Vipassana Musings: THIS WILL ALSO CHANGE

Sometimes I get the oddest downloads...

On the last day of the 10-day silent meditation course I just took, I saw an image of THIS: cut out letters taped above my couch of one of the main teachings of Vipassana. 

It’s such a beautiful reminder of the impermanence of Life, and the practice of remaining equanimous amidst all of Life’s changes. 

This is how the Buddha achieved enlightenment — by ceasing to react with cravings or resistance to anything and everything that occurs on the outside, as well as within. 

He discovered a meditation technique whereby focusing on the sensations of the body, you can release all of the old reactions (saṃskāra) until there is no more accumulation. 

No more house to hold the Soul.
Just pure Light.

I am so grateful for this meditation technique and all the Vipassana courses I’ve taken.

I always experience transformation afterwards...and I can already feel my own being CHANGING.

You are never stuck or stagnant. In fact, your body and this reality are simply particles of energy that arise and pass away at a rate that is so rapid it actually makes you believe that everything is solid and real.

It is not. 

So allow yourself to change. 

You've Come a Long Way, Baby.

Many people don’t know that I had a whole other past life in THIS life working in New York City government and politics. 

This first pic is of me sitting on the steps of City Hall, where I could often be found smoking cigarettes.

The other encapsulates what I was doing the other couple of hours when I wasn’t working 65+ hours a week — drinking at a local pub!

Past life, indeed. 

It’s interesting that Spirit has been giving me lots reminders of this old life lately...presumably for some healing.

I hated the government in college, but I wanted to move from New Jersey to NYC with the rest of my friends when I graduated school and somehow by the time June of my senior year came along I was offered a job for a State Assembly Member in Manhattan (because even then I was a powerful manifestor ;).

When I first started working in government at the ripe old age of 22 I was so naive (and still VERY much unconscious and asleep). I actually thought that maybe I would be able to create the change that I wanted to see in the world from the inside, instead of using the protest and resistance tactics that I had been accustomed to.

For a while I really did. I was a part of making some cool shit happen in New York City — like the emergency contraception pill being offered over-the-counter in City pharmacies, legalizing gay marriage in New York State, increasing transgender rights, etc.
I also saw the shadow side of government. As I worked my way to “senior staff” of the New York City Council I saw up close and personal all of the ugly of politics — the hidden agendas, the insatiable egoic desire for power, the political favoring and posturing, lies, deceit, etc.

Fortunately, I started to practice yoga at the end of my tenure in City Hall...and I began to wake up. 

I’ll never forget the moment when I first experienced a glimpse of transformation and spiritual awakening:

I am in the basement of City Hall, finishing up a conference call at some obscene hour and out of nowhere I have my first known moment of being able to step outside and observe myself. I hang up my office phone and experience a stillness like I never have before. And I think, “I don’t belong here. This is not what I want to do with my life.”

And thus, the transformation began. A couple months later I quit my job to become the therapist I had dreamed of becoming, but always wondered if I was too crazy to pull off. ;)

So here I am, ten years later. And I have declared a moratorium on anything government-related or political from my life because of the bad taste that was left in my mouth from my experiences...but maybe it’s time for a breakthrough. Maybe it’s time to reclaim the baby that I dumped out with the bathwater...

An astrologer in India told me that in the future I would teach meditation and spiritual principles in government. It would be so wonderful to contribute to the system in that way, given where I was and what I have learned since.

I am grateful for all the skills, knowledge and expertise that my previous life awarded me. It’s definitely assisted me in creating the structures and organization required to build and grow the business I have now.

And upon further reflection, I’m so grateful for how far I’ve come over the past ten years. I’m grateful for yoga which catalyzed my life transformation. I acknowledge myself for having the bravery, balls and courage to leave something that was no longer in integrity for me...and for continuing to leap and jump into different versions of myself, as I move forward to unlock who I really am.

Everything's In a Name: Why I'm Now Keri Receiver

I was born Keri Sender.

Thirty-four years later in 2014, I went through a HUGE transformation from receiving Access Consciousness Bars — the energy work technique I now offer others.

The expansion was extraordinary and I was receiving downloads rapidly and often.

One download that came through strong was to change my last name from "Sender" to "Receiver" to create more balance in my Life, and transform my lineage.

I saw how my ancestors pushed and struggled, how they constantly generated and worked themselves to the bone to make shit happen in their Lives, but that they didn’t always make the mental or energetic space to *receive* blessings from the Universe. 

In other words, they didn’t always allow the magic of Life to open to them, to let themselves be showered by the wonderful surprises and gifts that Spirit has to offer.

That’s when I realized that EVERYTHING's in a name...

I don't blame them, though.

When we go through individual or collective trauma (whether it’s from the Holocaust or bankruptcy, sudden loss, or death) in the aftermath we often attempt to control things...because that’s safer than leaving ourselves wide open to another trauma. 

So we figure out what we want, and with a single minded focus, do everything we can to achieve it. 

And perhaps by doing that, we close ourselves off to all of the other possibilities that Life has to offer us.

Once I realized all of this was entangled with my name, I really wanted to change it.

But I was afraid.

Afraid of what my parents might say, and afraid of what YOU would think of me.

Maybe I was also afraid of receiving...

So I decided that I would transition by becoming Keri “Sender-Receiver” first.

That transition is now complete.

I’m no longer afraid to become Keri Receiver.

In fact I’ve learned that much to my surprise, the more authentic we become, and the more we Unlock Who We Really Are, the more receptive the world actually IS to us.

So I no longer feel so weird or alien or alone or judged when I’m being myself.

Now I open my arms and my heart wide to RECEIVE and allow all of what this Life has to offer. 

When I became Keri Sender-Receiver, my life changed. 

Now it’s time to fully balance out 30+ years of sending, pushing, and controlling and allow all the blessings that come with Being KERI RECEIVER. 

The Name Game...Wanna Play?!?

When I was in silent meditation for those three weeks, I received some profound insights into the complexities of Being Human.

At any given moment, there’s so much going on with us on so many different levels - energetically, mentally, physically, etc. 

It’s no wonder so many of us turn to food, drugs, alcohol, sex, social media, the internet and our phones to check out and numb ourselves from all that Reality brings.

While Ultimate Awareness is the goal of Enlightenment, (did you know the Buddha observed himself for so long that he lost all of his senses?) it can be daunting for us to even stop what we’re doing for a minute and tune-into what’s really going on with us in the NOW.

So in my meditation on this past New Moon  (New Moons are great times to receive messages from Spirit/God...learn more in the In Tune with the Moon FB Group) I downloaded a new game to bring increased awareness into our lives.

I practice this game all the time with clients, although I’ve never named it until now. Spirit told me it’s time to play it with you...and with me. 

It’s called: The Name Game.

And here’s how it works:

In this moment, stop what you’re doing and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What am I feeling in this moment and where in my body do I feel it?

2. What are my thoughts about in this moment? 

3. Are there strong sensations in my body right now I do a quick scan?

4. What does my energy feel like in this moment?

That’s it. 4 Questions of the Name Game which allows us not only to practice getting into the moment, but also get in touch with the many layers of ourselves.

How beautiful that as humans we have the gift of language - of "Naming" - to enhance our consciousness. No other being on this planet has that gift. 

Okay, let’s play.

It’d be fun to see how different and/or similar all our answers can be, so post your answers to the questions here in the comments section below. Ready. Set. Go!!! : 
 

3 Weeks of Silent Meditation. What I got and how it can help You…

Dear One,
 
Well...I’m back. It feels hard to encapsulate three weeks straight of silence and continuous meditation. One of the main teachings of the Vipassana meditation technique is that everything is always changing.  
 
In fact, even our own physical form is always changing. We are nothing more than tiny bundles of matter or “kalapas” that arise and pass away every nanosecond much faster than we can even notice that it’s all just a dream...it’s the Great Illusion that appears remarkably real. 
 
This concept of constant change, or impermanence is called “Anicca” in Pali - the dialect of Gautama the Buddha who found and used the Vipassana meditation technique to achieve enlightenment in the 4th century BC.
 
So the best way to describe my meditation course is that it was Anicca, always changing...just like Life. Just like Us.
 
It was a beautiful reflection of the ups and downs, of good days and bad, of sacred moments of feeling close and connected to Spirit and bouts of suffering from resistance to what IS.
 
In general, I learned a LOT about myself. I got up close and personal with my incessantly active Gemini brain. I got to see how much I can change my mind. I saw how overactive with analysis my mind can be. My mind really doesn’t want to shut up. And it was hard to stay out of it. I saw how much I harp on things, how much I re-work, re-write, assign meaning, and make up stories that sometimes can keep me in the role of a victim.
 
Even if you’re not a Gemini, I bet you can relate.
 
Our brains trick us into the illusion that it runs the show, and that it’s the only thing that matters. Our brains are bullies to our bodies and villains to our hearts. Our brains create stories to keep us moving in loops.
 
If we realize this, if we keep remembering that we are so much more than our minds, then we can keep bringing ourselves back to consciousness, and to the Divine Perfection of the Present Moment.
 
That’s why meditation is so important.
 
Even if you the thought of sitting in meditation feels completely crazy to you, I encourage you to at the very least listen to a guided meditation. There are so many out there on the Internet, just choose one that feels good. I’ve got a 45-minute Progressive Muscle Relaxation Guided Meditation of my own that you can download Here: and plenty of other meditations you can choose from on the Tools to Unlock You page of theUnlock Who You Really Are website.
 
In the meditation course I also realized that there is a Divine Flow to everything - from the pattern of our meditations, to what we choose to eat for breakfast. There’s a way it's all meant to flow and if you pay close enough attention you can be in this Divine Flow in every waking moment, constantly guided by Spirit and the natural order (or unfolding) of things.
 
Vipassana is a practice into the True Nature of Reality. One of the results of my three weeks of practice was an increased awareness of my relationship to my parents. I got very present to the times in the past that I’ve been unappreciative of my parents enormous love and care for me.  I got how truly loved I am by my parents, and how blessed I am to have them in this Life.
 
It was a big deal for me to do this course. It was twice as long as any of the other Vipassana courses I’ve taken over the past 7 years. I’m not going to tell you it was easy. Practicing this meditation technique continuously - all day, every day - for three weeks straight was challenging and a lot of work. I’m so glad that I did it, though.
 
Since I’ve been back, I’ve been shedding lots of tears for the loss of my own unconsciousness - a very beautiful and strange thing.  I’ve found great refuge in myself within the depths of the Illusion of my physical form. I can feel the veil loosening, like I’m peaking through a tear in the Matrix.
 
I wrote something after my first 10-day Vipassana course in 2011 that I’d like to share with you. It explains more about the technique, in case you’re interested. You can read it by clicking Here.
 
Vipassana Meditation Centers are located all over the world and are also completely donation-based. If this practice speaks to you at all, I encourage you to register for a 10-day course. You can learn more Here.
 
Now that I’m back I feel ready to serve you again to assist you to shed the layers of your own unconsciousness and Unlock Who You Really Are. I’ll be in New York City for at least the rest of August as I prepare for my next chapter whereabouts to unfold (stay tuned for more on this...). You can either work with me in the Big Apple in person this month, or as always over the Internets from the Big Island, or from anywhere else in the world. You can schedule a 30-minute Mini-Clearing & Consult call with me Here.

I feel blessed to have you in my movie.

Why It Feels so Hard to Move Forward

Why It feels so Hard to Move Forward

by Keri Sender-Receiver, LSW
 

I don’t know about you,

but it feels really hard to move forward these days.

I mean, I know it’s coming. I know it’s allll coming.

A part of me wants to just give up.

“It feels too hard.”

“I don’t want to do all of that work.”

(MY version of my fear).

And a part of me isn’t entirely sure how to Be Fully Me.

Maybe she’s too mean or too smart.

What if she causes some serious damage?

And then I get it --

she’s already been created anyway.

It’s already said and done.

So just Unlock Who You Really Are.

There’s nothing to do but Unlock Who You Really Are…

I write this as a reminder to myself and to all of us.

It is a time of great change and the answer is

to be Who We Really Are, to love and accept ourselves fully.
 

This is what will move the planet forward.

It’s not about protests,

or constantly reading about politics on your News Feed,

it’s about changing the outside by changing within.

It’s about doing the work, whatever that looks like for you.

And only you know what that is…

Sometimes Being with family can be hard.

Sometimes being with family can be hard. I recall the Ram Dass quote -- "you think you're enlightened? Go spend a week with your parents..."

Yet being in relationship is our best access to transformation - our best access to Love - because others act as our mirrors reflecting back to us all that we offer the world...the good, the bad and the ugly.

And who better to be our best mirrors than the people who we are closest to...

This weekends' lunar eclipse highlighted family and romantic relationships...and it just so happens that my parents are here visiting in Hawaii.

We've shared stories, had laughs, eaten great meals together, went a wonderful talk-story event last night with Hawaiian music...but it hasn't been a walk in the park the entire time. We've argued, got angry, triggered, hurt. We all had our "stuff" come up.

For me, I realize how easy it is to get caught up in the 'blame game' and I how much I've been blaming my parents for all things I don't like about myself.

When we make our parents (or anyone!) "wrong", we're really just expressing our own self-hatred.

And when we attempt to control another's behavior, it's a futile attempt to control Life.

This visit hasn't been pretty 100% of the time...but at least I can use the hard times as an opportunity to look at myself and make the changes that are necessary to love ME more...and as a natural extension, to love THEM more.

Our parents gave us Life. They took care of us and loved us to the very best of their ability.

Forgive yourself for all the times that you didn't realize that Truth, and be grateful for the opportunity to remember.

#LOVErevolution #therealdeal #Cycles #ho'oponopono #Mirrors #Truth #unlock #unlockwhoyoureallyare

When I Didn't Think I was Beautiful...

When I was a teenager, my self-image was completely distorted so I had a nose job because I didn’t think I was attractive enough.

The surgery was so painful and traumatic…it wasn’t very long before I completely regretted and resented that I had the operation.

And I still thought that I was ugly.

It wasn’t until I ‘woke up’ at age 28 that I realized how beautiful I am.

And when I finally realized it and declared that I was beautiful, the strangest thing occurred…

Like magic - and for the first time ever - people and strangers EVERYWHERE starting approaching me to tell me I was beautiful: the guy at the corner bodega who sold me coffee every morning, a stranger on the subway, others walking down the street…it was a complete breakthrough.

I had always looked to others to tell me that I was attractive (or worthy, or good enough), but it wasn’t until I realized myself how beautiful I actually was, that the outside world started to tell me too.

We all have emotional trauma that acts as a block in our lives. What's your emotional trauma? For assistance releasing it: https://snapappointments.com/listing/2LG or email: keri@kerisender.com

You are the Dance...

Just spent a week in Maui for OneDanceTribe Hawaii 2017.

I danced through so much that it feels like I'm still processing and catching up from the shifts and ripples that all the movement invoked in the swirling tidepool that is (my) Life...

And I found God in the dance.
Or rather, I surrendered until Spirt danced me...

It's hard to explain the pure awe and utter delight in knowing that your hands and arms are moving but that you aren't the one moving them.

It's the experience of a deep knowing of the Truth that ultimately God is the one in control.

I also danced until I lost my mind...but not in a way that I felt crazy. In a way that I listened to my body so much that my brain stopped trying to run the show. My brain had nothing left to say.

I danced until I found my power, and then I gave it away to another dancer. I fell in love and got my heart broken and all to be reminded of the basics of Attachment 101.

I danced through crisis and longing, reached and pulled until I couldn't help but to yield to the dance. 

I was left with a choice to dance in struggle or dance to surrender...

Life can feel unsure at times. The dance can feel confusing and rocky...yet when we stop and remember that we are being danced by God...well, that we can trust.

Because we ARE the dance.

Transitions

Who are you in transition periods?
In the space between
the old story and the new one...

And how do you function within the pause?

Are you fearful of your future,
Or do you have Faith?

Can you feel yourself surrounded by the Grace of Spirit, 
Unraveling your ties to the Past...
Anchored by Trust,
Directed by the flutter of your own juicy red beating heart.

#unlock #unlockwhoyourreallyare

Practice Being Yourself...

At three years old I sat in a highchair around the dinner table and listened to everyone’s judgments and criticism of everyone else.

As I listened, a piece of my Soul slid right from out of the high-chair and landed all the way underneath the table on the kitchen floor.

I was mortified.

I wanted to hide.

If everyone else was being criticized, wouldn’t I also be judged?

This fear of being judged made it hard for me to be myself for the 25 years to come, until at age 28 my first spiritual teacher looked me straight in the eyes and said:

“Keri, when you walk into a room, half the people will love you and half of them will hate you before you even open your mouth to speak…

So you might as well just Be Yourself.”

Every day I practice Being MySelf.  

Every day I practice not giving a shit what people think when I walk into a room.