Back to the Basics: Polulu Valley

 

This was the first time I hiked to the second valley alone, and this accomplishment has showed me my progress since I first got here 3 years ago.

Sometimes I forget how FREE I need to Be in order to be in alignment, and to Be happy.

What a blessing to be reminded again. I asked Spirit how and it showed me the way. I just keep asking questions, opening up the energy and letting the journey show me the way...

And up here, at the top of this gorgeous Valley pondering how on Earth did Spirit create all this beauty, and create me, and have me stand here in my little pink shorts and grant me the grace to witness this beauty...only then do I remember that Spirit is the greatest mystery of all. Spirit is not to be understood...and I learn my lesson in humility.

I'm Taking Advantage of this Mercury Retrograde

 

I'm taking advantage of this Mercury Retrograde,

and pulling my awareness deeper inside.

Down through all the dusty, dark layers.

Discovering the parts of me that still think I'm separate from everything and everyone...

 

The parts of me that are so insecure 

that I don't post on social media for fear that I won't be as "liked" as I want to.

Untangling myself from a lifetime of being told that I need to look good in front of others,

And care about what they think.

That I have to do it that or this way.

 

Digging into the deep ditches of myself 

that STILL doesn't fully trust others.

 

Contemplating what it means for me to Live my Passion at THIS moment in time.

 

Tapping into that well inside of myself that will keep on keeping on, 

That knows that my process is wonderful and beautiful and unfolding 

just. as. it. should. BE.

 

And I will RISE

again and again 

like a Phoenix,

Until I'm fully born into the version of me 

That's who I TRULY am.

 

The Road from Manali to Amristar

Layers of India are peeling off,

And I see deeper into "the game".

Street kids who read minds,

And holy hot springs too scalding to enter.

 

In the cold nights of the Himalayas,

I dream about past lovers,

And I create my future.

A one way ticket to my destiny.

 

Fellow tourists commiserating about the cauldron of emotions that bubble on the buses and trains.

Sad to leave but ready to go.

Unexplained tears roll down my cheeks.

 

How exhilarating it is

on the dirty, dusty 

16-hour local bus to the next City.

When Infinite possibilities lie ahead.

alone again,

to be reborn, 

To be FREE.

If only we could remember 

this is Truth in every moment...

 

There's something that happens 

around hour 11 of the 16 hour bus ride,

After the teenage boy vomited several times,

And many have been standing the entire ride,

And a flat tire at midnight that took 1 hour and a dozen Indians to fix...

The I's on this overcrowded bus melt

Into one collective.

We are ONE energy.

now I can feel everyone's eyelids heavy from lack of sleep,

Not just my own.

We bounce from the bumps on the road in unison.

Over the potholes together now,

I am no longer a tourist.

I am part of this lovely Indian heartbeat

on the trail from Manali to Amristar.

This strong heart that still smiles and laughs 

On hour 11 of this 16 hour journey.

And I realize that I am amongst Buddhas.

 

A prelude to Amritsar,

Golden Temple of Oneness.

Tears trickle down my face again

This time from sheer beauty.

A prayer or two matches each thali plate 

filled with love 

and cleaned from Seva,

pure service. 

My heart is open 

From the utter magnificence,

the uncanny resonance,

And the sweet Parshan

That I share 

With everyONE.

 

Thank you Mother India,

for reminding me in the most unexpected of moments.

At 1am on the winding road

from Manali to amritsar.

And for leading me to this holy Temple

made of love and gold.

India Has Mesmerized Me

India has mesmerized me.
At first with her smells.
Wafts of sweet rose
and fresh dirt.
Homemade meals packed with spices,
Burning incense and charcoal fires.

She has showed me her wealth,
As I found myself being waiting on by servants and traveling with drivers.
And in true form,
she also showed me more garbage and dirty pigs,
more rusty, broken pipes than anyone should see, let alone live with.
...But then somehow even the dirty and smelly and broken in India becomes beautiful,
Simply because it is part of her too.

The land of opposites and extremes indeed...

There are people, cars, cows, tik-tiks and buses EVERYWHERE.
All of my dancing in the rhythm of Chaos has made it surprisingly easy surrender to the mayhem of the roads,
Trusting that the lane my auto rickshaw driver created for himself,
In between the garbage truck who is driving on the road's shoulder and the cow looking for grass to chew in the middle of the street,
will get us safely to our destination.

I am constantly in awe of India.
In awe of the Sikhs who pause to pray together on the train after dusk while a man passes their berth offering homemade chai.
Of perfectly folded saris made with the most beautiful and boldest of colors:
Bright blues and purples, blood oranges and reds worn with pride,
Amidst the mud and the monkey shit.
Of adorable little Indian girls who recite to me the story of Rama and Sita,
And tell me how they learned in school that the most important value is cleaning up after yourself:
To throw away your garbage.

And on the inside,
I've had tons of moments already in India where I'm sure I've know that person,
or witnessed that scene before, or already had that conversation.
Déjà u moments.
I make them mean I am still going strong on my path.
(But then again, can we ever REALLY be off of our paths?)

Life is a dance,
and we are the dancers.
I feel that India is taking me for a glorious and wonderful whirl.

She is showing me that every time I follow my heart, the Universe (God, whatever word you want to use) provides. Always.

When I let go of all the thinking and journey from my mind into the depths of my heart, I am always provided for.

A mysterious game that I am collecting all the pieces of the puzzles for,
Following the bread crumbs of my existence.
I am being led by God
(when I let God lead me).

Life unfolds like a perfect dirty rose,
And I am shown the divine order in the midst of the chaos.

When I move through the shock and discomfort of a brand new moment,
I feel more alive than ever before.
I feel alive without ego.
Without pretense.
I am so small and insignificant in a massive world whose magic I won't ever understand
and will never cease to enjoy.

In almost every free moment I find myself acknowledging India,
Saying her name to myself like a new lover whom I can't help but adore
I get thrilled, humbled and grateful for the opportunity to be here.
For the opportunity to grow here in all the ways Im not even present to yet.


Thank you New York.

Thank you, New York.
Thank you for raising me into adulthood.
Thank you for beating down my self-confidence.
Thank you for working me to the bone.
Thank you for all the heartbreak,
The heartache.
Thank you for all the meaningless sex in my twenties.
Thank you for showing me what it means to hustle.
Thank you for all the teachers,
and all the modalities,
that got me to get how little I loved myself.
And how lost I was from own body.
Thank you for showing me that I can choose different ways of being,
Thank you you for teaching me that I'm the only one who gets to make the meaning in my life.
For bringing my lack of self-compassion into my awareness.
Thank you for taking advantage of my unconsciousness.
And THANK YOU, New York,
for WAKING ME UP.
Thank you for all the friendships,
That came and went.
And thank you for the friendships I'll leave with.
Thank you for all the times I listened to others,
instead of listening to my own heart.
Thank you New York for holding the space for me to find my heart and listen to it.
Thank you for all of the times I fell in love.
Thank you for all the late night dances in my kitchen in Park Slope.
Thank you for showing me how I was being attached.
Thank you New York,
For showing me that all of life is a dance.
Thank you for all of the wonderful, deep, rageful dances,
Thank you for all the re-enactments.
And thank you New York for the dances that rocked my world,
That showed me I could experience more joy in one moment than I ever thought possible.
Thank you New York for making it impossible for me to find a new home here after I left you the first time.
Thank you for all the grief,
For all the loss.
Thank you New York, for helping me find the Receiver in Sender-Receiver.
Thank you for raising me into adulthood New York.
Thank you for your smelly summer subway cars.
Thank you for post-dance bliss in the park.
Thank you for introducing me to all the men who treated me as crappy as I treated myself.
And thank you for teaching me what love really is.
Thank you for teaching me about trauma.
Thank you for teaching me about myself.
Thank you New York for thirteen amazing years in your concrete jungle.
Thank you for reminding me that I can get out of my head,
And into the energy.
Thank you for showing me
that I am an (un-wounded) healer,
A spiritual warrior.
A transformation facilitator.
Thank you for reminding me that I am dancer.
Thank you for making me into a yogi.
Thank you New York,
For raising each and every one of my family members.
Thank you for being my refuge when I was young.
Thank you for wowing me with your Statue of Liberty on car-rides across the bridge to my grandmother's house when I was a little girl.
Thank you for waiting for me to run into your arms after college.
Thank you, New York, for allowing me to love you,
and to hate you.
Thank you for helping me lose my connection to myself.
Thank you for the ceaseless way your heartbeat pulses throughout the streets
at any and all times of day and night.
Thank you for all the fantastic pizza.
For late nights at the pubs down by City Hall.
For sleepless elections days,
For so many breakthroughs with clients.
Thank you New York for after-dinner strolls to Uncle-LouieG's to eat Chocolate Jelly Ring Italian Ices.
Thank you for all the tears shared and howls of laughter.
For multiple variations of fake chicken around Washington Square Park.
Thank you New York,
for being you.
Thank you for being so staccato, New York.
Thank you, New York.
Thank you.
 

BEing from LOVE vs. DOing from Fear

Sometimes I have to remind myself that success does not blossom from the Doing, but from the Being. 
You can DO 1,000x from a place of Fear, or You can BE once from LOVE. 
And the choice is always yours. 
‪#‎reminders‬ ‪#‎BELOVE‬ ‪#‎stopdoingsomuch‬ ‪#‎nycsummer‬‪#‎unlockwhatyoualreadyknow‬

A Record from the Rabbit Hole

There were so many incredible moments o’ magic last week as I learned, practiced and experienced Past-Life Regression Therapy with Dr. Brian Weiss!

Some of the Regressions were from this lifetime. I went back into my Mother’s belly (which felt like being on slo-mo spin cycle in a washing machine!) and got a clear message in-utero that while I’m here I should HAVE FUN!

I was reminded of how good it feels to be loved by my Dad and how much I feel all the energy around me, even as a baby. 

Regressions from past lifetimes included being a developmentally disabled man who learned about selfless love. That’s good one. ;-)

One spectacular Regression though, begins in space. It’s not exactly from the Past. (Of course Time doesn’t really exist.) My sense is that it occurred in another Dimension. Here’s how it went:

I’m floating in darkness looking at stars in the galaxy.  I see Saturn and I want to go near it. Suddenly, I’m on all fours inspecting Saturn’s ring. It looks like bacon and feels like leather!

Priscilla Griffin the AMAZING Regression Therapist I’m working with (And btw, Priscilla and I ran into each other ALL WEEK LONG at the workshop, as though the Universe was hitting me over the head with a hammer to make it clear that we needed to connect and work together) asks me to look down at myself. And that’s when I realize…

I have green hands. 

Seriously?

And my fingers are really, really long.

Then I look at my feet. They are the same. Bright green with long claw-like toes.

I’m a little frightened to look at my body, but when I do I see that it’s really long and green and skinny.

Then I see a crystal clear vivid image of my eyes. My eyeballs are yellow with little specs of red in it. My pupils are black. I am reminded of one of the Chameleons that lived in the orange blossom tree at my apartment in Hawaii…Only I know that I’m not a Chameleon.

I’m transported inside of something. I’m encased like an egg and I see many flashes of light outside of the casing. 

I realize that I’m either a star, or I’m inside of a star!.

Then I begin to sense something in the distance. It’s white and I sense that it’s a Dome. The Dome is pulling me towards it, like it needs me.

To come Home.

I begin to feel sensations inside of my body as a lay on the grass with Priscilla. My root chakra begins to open like I have never experienced before. It feels so light and electric. Like a bell ringing.

Then my sacrum opens, and my feet and hands start to feel incredibly light. Pretty soon my whole body begins to feel lighter than ever before, and the confines of my body dissolve into the space around me.

I am One with all that is.

Pure Energy.

And I feel no barriers between myself and the outside world. 

I am Pure Consciousness.

A silvery white disk from the Dome approaches me. It’s picking me up and I have no choice but to comply.

Not that I’m resistant. I feel no resistance to anything. No emotions. Everything just is as it is and I simply experience it.

I surrender to it. It’s beautiful.

I’m in the Dome now, and there are lots of Beings scurrying around too quickly for me to see who they are or what they are doing.

I ask what’s happening and one of them approaches me. It’s hard to make out this Being’s body. All I see are long, black oval eyes. Cliché Alien eyes. “We are making YOU.” It replies.

I leave the Dome and fly directly to Planet Earth, towards South America.

Everything goes black. Then I begin to see lots of greenery, like a forest or woods. 

I’m in human form.

I look down at my hands and feet. I am a 20-year old young man, playing folk music in the backyard of house close to the woods. I’m wearing a white t-shirt, khaki shorts and blue sneakers. I rent a room from a woman’s house that looks exactly like one of the women that I’m in the workshop with.

Trippy. The whole thing was incredibly trippy!

Just to add the trippiness is the photo I found on Google after the workshop (Scroll down to see it…and look at the Alien’s eyes!).

Roughly around the same time I was being regressed I learned that my Dad was at his home watching two TV shows. The first one was a show that mirrored an experience he had over 30 years ago regarding a Past-Life Regression he received from a Ouji Board. Freaky.

The next show was about Alien Life Form.  It was called “The Dome”.

One of the beautiful results from Past Life Regression Therapy is the ability to know in your bones that life is eternal. That you are endless, that you never really die and that the people who you love never really leave you because they join you lifetime after lifetime.

I received an even deeper message from this Regression. I got that I’m here on Planet Earth to bring awareness of the Truths of this Reality so that we can all move closer towards Ascension.

I got that there is a larger plan unfolding that is even more magical and magnificent than I could every have anticipated.  I learned that God/the Universe/Higher Power has a plan for me, and that if I can pay attention and surrender to it, I can travel beyond the constraints of Time and Space that we are accustomed to, and have the honor of being shown just how far down the Rabbit Hole goes so that I can fulfill my Mission here.

I get that my journey down the Rabbit Hole has only really just begun. I am humbled and SO ready for more!

Thanks for reading these Records from the Rabbit Hole. I trust that you received everything that you were supposed from my sharing. 

If you’d like to schedule a Past-Life Regression with me in-person or over Skype, visit: http://kerisender.com/book-a-session/

Sat Nam.

New York Keri (Ilisa Sender-Receiver!).

Wow, what an intense full moon it's been! And on the heels of my return to the Big Apple. It's amazing how you can be in one scene of your movie in one moment, and then with a mere 12 hour plane ride across the United States of America -- POOF -- you're in another scene. 

My New York City movie is familiar. 
On the surface the scene feels the same, like I'm picking up exactly where I left off...

Yet, if I dive deeper I can begin to feel how much "Hawaii Keri" really has shifted "New York Keri". 

The most noticeable difference so far is how the 'charge' in certain relationships here is gone. A total transformation in the way I relate to those that in the past had majorly affected me. Sacred contracts complete.

I'm stoked to see as I continue to BE here for the summer, just how much my dance has changed. 

I can feel my increase of FAITH in life...because I know what happens when I follow my heart and follow my dreams. 

And I have Faith now no matter what things feel like in any given moment.

I have FAITH in the journey.
And I'm constantly curious about the ride. 

Sat Nam. 💫💫


How Everything Changed on the Way to the Mexican Joint.

Isn't it amazing how the energy can shift in one split second?

And for those reading who don't feel as sensitive to energy, just replace 'energy' with 'your feelings' or the 'experience of life.'

I was feeling a mild case of anxious, wonky, and gnarly at times this weekend. Feeling disconnected to myself.

And then? 
Viola!
In the parking lot of the Mexican joint on the way to the beach, everything shifts. 
And for no reason, whatsoever.

Just because it's time. 
Just because God said so.

But duh, Keri. 
Everything is ALWAYS shifting.

It's the one constant we have.

The cloud passes to let the splendid sunshine pour in and light up the landscape, 
only until it starts to pour,
and it's time to go inside. 
Until it's time to come outside. 
Again.


The Yummiest Mystery

I am so stoked by LIFE!
It's like all the pieces of the puzzle are coming together,
Yet I have no idea what everything will look like yet.
It's the yummiest mystery...
In every moment.

I realized this week how I've been so mistrusting of others,
And how that mistrust is just a projection.

I've been reminded of how to let all of that go and just...TRUST.

Surrendering to the Divine Flow.
Trusting myself,
And opening my heart.

Exploring and deepening all those sacred connections that I have with others, 
and honoring 
each and every one of them,
without trying to manipulate them 
into what I want them to be,
or how I want them to look, 
or define them,
or put them into any kind of box 
or neatly wrapped package.

Exploring the sacred connection I have with the Great Spirit,
And the connection that my connections have to the Great Spirit.

Honoring every part of myself, 
Even the parts I don't like.

And most of all, having FUN like I've never had before...

Following Your Heart is the New Thinking

It's time to stop thinking about everything.
Seriously.

Lately, I've been growing increasingly agitated by the ways in which I plan, analyze and strategize for the things I want.

What would it take to invite something completely different in?

To instead of manipulating to fulfill our Master plans, we follow the DIVINE PLAN simply by following our hearts.

What would it take to truly LET-GO?!

To make choices based only on what feels right. What feels good. What feels True.

To Be in the Divine Flow in each and every moment.

The New Divine Masculine.

To live life in a way that following the heart IS the New thinking!

A Portal of New Fabrics Sent from the Heavens

Isn't it amazing how when you least expect it, life throws you a curveball that rocks the foundation of everything you thought you knew yourself to be?

In one split second that inexplicable yet magnetic connection to another, that unexpected situation or event, that sudden life-altering loss or gain that changes the game as you formerly knew it.

A portal of new fabrics sent from the Heavens to offer you exactly what you need to become a you-er you.

I am bewildered, awestruck and humbled by the ways in which LIFE is constantly giving us opportunities to stretch, open and release. It's all there if we choose it, and the expansion seems limitless.

What a beautiful game we all chose to come and play, and how utterly magical the mystery of it all is!

Embrace the Soft Serve Swirl. (Served in a sugar cone, please.)

I am an ever changing Being,
And when I stop the mind chatter
And just observe,
I am bewildered and amazed by my own capacity to be a human chameleon,
A roller coaster ride of energy,
A buffet of different states of being,
A bouquet of different moods, 
a cacophony of awarenesses.
A mixture of light and dark,
Like swirling soft serve chocolate and vanilla ice cream.
And seriously,
how can there EVER be anything wrong with chocolate and vanilla soft serve ice cream? 🍦🍦🍦🍦