ELIMINATING SELF-DOUBT

Self-Doubt. It’s a doozy.

Dare I say it may be the biggest fallacy in the way of us fulfilling our Divine Potential and allowing all of our dreams to come true.

Somewhere early-on along our journey here in this body, something happened to us. When that something happened, we made a decision that we were bad, wrong, not good enough and unworthy.

This is where we first began to doubt ourselves.

As time went on, things would happen that would remind and reinforce this idea us that we aren’t worthy...and the doubt would double up.

We may have had big dreams for ourselves and the world, but we built evidence and talked ourselves into an absurd and false storyline that we don’t matter, or that we can’t matter that much, or that our contribution to the world can’t really be that big.

Aren’t you ready to step into a new storyline that reflects a more confident, worthy and capable YOU?

Something happened to me recently that reminded me of the importance of eliminating my own self-doubt.

My friend and I were drinking Chai in her kitchen here in the jungles of Hawa’i on a beautiful Saturday afternoon before we were to embark on a fun hiking adventure to a secluded beach nearby.

All of sudden, we hear nearby voices of some men yelling. We rush out of the kitchen to find three young hunters with rifles calling for their dog that went stray on my friends’ land.

My friend starts to chastize the hunters, asks them what they are doing trespassing, and explains to them that she has cats that live here.

Then everything starts to move real slow.

I turn my head one way and watch as the black cat named Hina -- named after the Hawaiian Goddess of the Dark of the Moon --  jumps down from a tree to inspect the unwelcomed hunters that just arrived.
 
I turn my head the other way and watch as the hunting dog caught his first glimpse of Hina. He dashes for her, and before my friend and I could intervene the dog is attacking Hina.

It all happened so quick. Before we knew it, the hunters and the dog are gone, and a very injured Hina leaps underneath the nearby outdoor lua (toliet) to find respite.

The shock of what just happened hits my friend and I. She lays on the Earth next to the lua to comfort Hina as the cat coughs up blood and bellies out cries.

At first I don’t know what to do with myself or how to help.

After a few minutes of a “freeze” response, I realize the best thing I can do to help is to leave my friend alone to console Hina, and for me to go conduct a remote energy-healing on Hina from another part of the land.

So I find a grassy patch, grab my Tarot cards and get to work...

I primarily facilitate energy-clearings by allowing Spirit to work through me, and through the assistance of the Archangels, the Ascended Masters, and the personal angels and guides of both myself and the Being that I’m working on.

Never before have I seen and felt all the Light Beings’ presence so strongly.

I watch in my third eye as Archangel Raphael wraps Hina in a pink and green light.

I feel the monkey God Hanuman come to help and the Elephant God Ganesha as well.

I feel angels and guides healing Hina’s underbelly and her internal organs.

As I ask Spirit questions and pull Tarot cards for guidance, I am amazed at how positive the cards that came up are.

All signs are pointing to a miraculous healing and recovery. The dog seemed to have injured Hina’s two hind legs, but I am receiving messages that even those would work fine again.

When my friend takes a break from consoling Hina, she finds me and tells me that it isn’t looking good. Hina is starting to have those glazed over “Death” eyes.

I meekly attempt to assure my friend that my visions and sense is saying otherwise...but am I doubting myself. I am doubting the healing I was facilitating and the guidance I am receiving...

Hina doesn’t move from out underneath the lua that night or over the next couple of days. She isn’t eating or drinking and my friend is preparing for the worst.

My friend visits Hina with food and water every day, but it’s still unclear what kind of recovery she will have. Even if she survives the internal bleeding, it seems unlikely that Hina will ever be able to use her back legs again.

Ten days go by and Hina stays hidden to rest.

One night while I am home on the other side of the island, Hina comes into my awareness so strongly and I start having flashbacks of the night she was attacked. I start to feel worry that something has shifted.

I reach out to my friend to let her know what I am feeling and she tells me that a day and a half before, Hina had disappeared.

Four days go by without any sign of Hina.

We are coming to terms with the fact that she has gone off somewhere to die.

It’s confusing for me to hear this.

Again I feel myself fill with sadness and self-doubt.

Maybe I was only imagining the healing?

Maybe all the Angels and Beings and messages aren’t real after all?

Maybe they are just a product of wishful thinking, something I am making up?

Is it all just a fantasy, a delusion and illusion?

Two days later, I receive a text from my friend with a picture of Hina laying on the table in my friends’ kitchen that says, “Guess who’s back, and walking and jumping without a scrach?!”

Not only has Hina survived, her body is back to normal.

The whole experience has been magical.

Through the trauma and experience of Hina’s attack, I was reminded of who I really am and what I am really capable of.

I am a powerful energetic healer and I can make miracles happen. I facilitate shifts in reality and create space for transformation.

And I will no longer allow anyone - including myself - to ever to imply otherwise.

It’s time for all of us to remember who we really are and to confidently step fully into our Divine gifts and contributions for the healing and transformation of this planet.

It’s time for us all to let go of the self-doubt that’s in the way of us unlocking who we really are.

Here’s an Eliminating Self-Doubt MP3 Energetic Clearing that I created to assist with this process. I'm offering it to you for FREE until July 1, 2019. 

Download it now and listen to it often so that you too can remember who you really are. You can download the clearing
Here.

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The Insidious Trauma of Mistrust

The great thing about being a therapist and holding space for people to clear their old shit is that I get to see my own shit right before my eyes.

We are ALL each other’s mirrors in this Life, but my line of work is designed to bring the mirror into the forefront of awareness. It’s one of the things I love best about doing what I do. I get to clear myself by holding space for others to clear too.

So many of my mirrors lately have been working with mistrust. 

And it’s been a powerful awakening to my own issues of mistrust. 

I can contextualize it: my parents grew up on the streets of Brooklyn. Every day they were exposed to the Fears of inner-city life. 

Every turn they thought someone was out to rob them, get one of over on them, take from them...in fact, they finally moved to the suburbs of New Jersey when both their car was broken into (with a note attached to saying thanks for all the great 8-tracks!) and their apartment was robbed.

I was born in the Jersey suburbs and spared the perils of City life...until I consciously chose to move there after college. 

This past summer in NYC I ended up letting go of City life that much more, and I got clear on just how much “heart hardening” there was in my own 12 years of Brooklyn life as a young adult.

Now I can’t walk by a sick stray kitty without getting incredibly upset. 

How I would ride the subway with homeless people dirty and smelling up the entire car and beginning for money and not even look at them...is beyond me. 

How could that not harden the heart and create mistrust in this world?

I see how I still carry that mistrust in my cells.

We all do in some way, shape or form.

We all grew up with some kind of trauma — whether it was ours or passed down from our lineage.

Most of us are caught in some kind of cycle of violence or abuse just by being Alive in this world. 

Some of it is so deeply hidden in the unconscious that it’s easy to miss.

The trauma of mistrust. Insidious and sneaky as the perception of it actually is. 

The beautiful thing though, is that the more we become aware of the ways our own mistrust has taken form, the more we shed Light, the looser the grip becomes on us. 

And I DO believe with 110% of my heart that we can clear this mistrust...clear it for ourselves and clear it for the collective. 

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Post-Vipassana Musings: THIS WILL ALSO CHANGE


Sometimes I get the oddest downloads...

On the last day of the 10-day silent meditation course I just took, I saw an image of THIS: cut out letters taped above my couch of one of the main teachings of Vipassana. 

It’s such a beautiful reminder of the impermanence of Life, and the practice of remaining equanimous amidst all of Life’s changes. 

This is how the Buddha achieved enlightenment — by ceasing to react with cravings or resistance to anything and everything that occurs on the outside, as well as within. 

He discovered a meditation technique whereby focusing on the sensations of the body, you can release all of the old reactions (saṃskāra) until there is no more accumulation. 

No more house to hold the Soul.
Just pure Light.

I am so grateful for this meditation technique and all the Vipassana courses I’ve taken.

I always experience transformation afterwards...and I can already feel my own being CHANGING.

You are never stuck or stagnant. In fact, your body and this reality are simply particles of energy that arise and pass away at a rate that is so rapid it actually makes you believe that everything is solid and real.

It is not. 

So allow yourself to change. 

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You've Come a Long Way, Baby.

Many people don’t know that I had a whole other past life in THIS life working in New York City government and politics. 

This first pic is of me sitting on the steps of City Hall, where I could often be found smoking cigarettes.

The other encapsulates what I was doing the other couple of hours when I wasn’t working 65+ hours a week — drinking at a local pub!

Past life, indeed. 

It’s interesting that Spirit has been giving me lots reminders of this old life lately...presumably for some healing.

I hated the government in college, but I wanted to move from New Jersey to NYC with the rest of my friends when I graduated school and somehow by the time June of my senior year came along I was offered a job for a State Assembly Member in Manhattan (because even then I was a powerful manifestor ;).

When I first started working in government at the ripe old age of 22 I was so naive (and still VERY much unconscious and asleep). I actually thought that maybe I would be able to create the change that I wanted to see in the world from the inside, instead of using the protest and resistance tactics that I had been accustomed to.

For a while I really did. I was a part of making some cool shit happen in New York City — like the emergency contraception pill being offered over-the-counter in City pharmacies, legalizing gay marriage in New York State, increasing transgender rights, etc.
I also saw the shadow side of government. As I worked my way to “senior staff” of the New York City Council I saw up close and personal all of the ugly of politics — the hidden agendas, the insatiable egoic desire for power, the political favoring and posturing, lies, deceit, etc.

Fortunately, I started to practice yoga at the end of my tenure in City Hall...and I began to wake up. 

I’ll never forget the moment when I first experienced a glimpse of transformation and spiritual awakening:

I am in the basement of City Hall, finishing up a conference call at some obscene hour and out of nowhere I have my first known moment of being able to step outside and observe myself. I hang up my office phone and experience a stillness like I never have before. And I think, “I don’t belong here. This is not what I want to do with my life.”

And thus, the transformation began. A couple months later I quit my job to become the therapist I had dreamed of becoming, but always wondered if I was too crazy to pull off. ;)

So here I am, ten years later. And I have declared a moratorium on anything government-related or political from my life because of the bad taste that was left in my mouth from my experiences...but maybe it’s time for a breakthrough. Maybe it’s time to reclaim the baby that I dumped out with the bathwater...

An astrologer in India told me that in the future I would teach meditation and spiritual principles in government. It would be so wonderful to contribute to the system in that way, given where I was and what I have learned since.

I am grateful for all the skills, knowledge and expertise that my previous life awarded me. It’s definitely assisted me in creating the structures and organization required to build and grow the business I have now.

And upon further reflection, I’m so grateful for how far I’ve come over the past ten years. I’m grateful for yoga which catalyzed my life transformation. I acknowledge myself for having the bravery, balls and courage to leave something that was no longer in integrity for me...and for continuing to leap and jump into different versions of myself, as I move forward to unlock who I really am.

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New Year Blessings from the Dead Dove

This morning when I was practicing yoga a beautiful Hawaiian dove made a suicide mission right into the roof of my townhouse.


I heard a pretty loud “smack” and then watched as the bird plopped on my lanai and  instantly died.
I could feel the energy of trauma and shock from the impact and then could feel the bird’s soul leave it’s little body.


The City girl in me almost started to have a fit at the idea of removing the bird, but my mind quickly transitioned into a calm inquisition with Spirit.


What does this mean? Why did the bird die on my lanai, and why did I have to watch it?


After my yoga practice I gathered my dustpan and gently scooped the bird up. I blessed it and wished its’ soul a beautiful transition into a next incarnation that would bring a most auspicious life.


As I released it to the Earth, the point became clear to me: Death is beautiful, Keri. And it’s okay. That bird’s soul was ready to move on.


How perfect for the first few days of this new year. As I’m letting go and allowing things to die in my own life — relationships that have expired their shelf life, old fears, stories, and thought patterns that don’t serve me, all of the struggle of the past — and that beautiful bird was a wonderful reminder that it is indeed time to move on.

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Your High Expectations of Others is About You Loving Yourself Even More

I’m getting super present to the high expectations I have for others in my Life.

And I’m ever so clear that those expectations are merely a projection of the high expectations that I have for myself.


I haven’t been willing to look at this area of my Life because somewhere along my journey I decided that if I had high expectations of myself, I would always push myself to make shit happen and be productive with my life.


So in a way, the expectations I’ve had of myself have really served me...


The dark side, though is that I end up putting a lot of pressure on myself and on others. 


My self-compassion becomes limited.


I saw that this Thanksgiving with this infected abscess on my face.


I was really hard on myself during the whole thing: mad at myself for trying to pop it like a pimple, mad at myself for going into the Ocean which made it more infected, mad at myself for not being more educated about antibiotics versus more natural medicine...etc, etc.


So it all becomes even MORE of a blessing. 

Isn’t it amazing how every thing that happens in our lives is part of a larger web that’s being woven surrounding our personal evolution? 

The gratitude extends *beyond*  Thanksgiving.

I am so grateful, and I’m so in love with Life in all of the mysterious and fantastic ways it supports us.

It is truly magical. 

P.s. SO grateful to have this mug back to its original form. I am healing really quickly, so thank you to all for your thoughts and prayers. I’ve been receiving so much care and concern and it’s really touching. Thank you. XO

#sharinforthegreatergood #compassion #poliahu #gratitude

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Full Moon Thanksgiving at the ER

The last place I expected to be on this Full Moon Thanksgiving was at the ER treating an infected abscess on my face, the but the lessons of gratitude and perspective is worth it.



I feel SO blessed to have my health today. SO blessed that I don’t normally have a piece of my face sliced open. I feel SO blessed for family and friends and ohana who love me and care for me.



And I am forever grateful for Sherry Brown Guillermo — not only for bringing me over vegan tofurky when I told her that I wouldn’t go to a party with my face looking like this, but also for urging me to go the ER and get checked out. YOU are an Earth Angel, Sherry and I love you. 



I could have done some serious damage to my brain or face or bloodstream if I left this untreated. 



So I’m grateful for taking care of my body...and my body knew what to do. 

My mind was resisting driving to the hospital, but my body knew it was the best thing to do.

The body always knows...



And I’m grateful for my yoga practice. I took it off the mat tonight and used my breathe to move through the pain of the procedure I had.



I often judge technology, but tonight Im also so grateful to be able to FaceTime with my parents and to be able to talk and communicate with loved ones while I was here in the hospital tonight. 



The Truth is that even though we are ultimately ONE, we are also alone. 

We will die alone. 

It was hard to be in the ER alone on Thanksgiving. It felt like a Spiritual lesson for my life right now...and at the same time, my phone kept me connected, and soothed the harshness of that Truth.



Life is a gift. This body is a gift. 

Good health is a gift. 

Love your loved ones and be generous with them. Be kind and loving always, be mindful and manage where you are directing your energy.



Namaste 

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My First Vipassana Experience: Fresno, California 8/17-8/28 2011

To get right to it, the Vipassana course was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done and it was a huge accomplishment to complete it. It was basically meditation boot camp.  About 100 of us, varying in age, size, ethnicity and all those identity politics, joined two teachers and about fifteen volunteers to meditate every day for about ten hours a day, for ten days.  The first bell rung for morning meditation at 4am followed by meditation in 1 hour, 1.5 hours and 2 hour increments throughout the day until 9pm.  We rested only for a few hours each day for meal breaks and listened to a one hour discourse each night from the head teacher, S.N. Goenka, who is responsible for bringing this Vipassana technique from Burma into the West.

Gobi, the Hindu doctor from Fresno who was kind enough to drive me to pick up my rental car when the course ended, told me all about Indian politics and the history of conflict between the Hindus and the Buddhists.  He was pleased that the teachings of the course were not Buddhism and told me that I was fortunate to receive the teachings void of any prior knowledge of the religious controversy.  It seemed obvious to me from the first time the teacher gave his discourse that this wasn’t a religious experience. 

Instead of learning about Buddhism, we were taught the Buddha’s (Siddhartha and his friend Gotama’s) meditation technique from over 25 centuries ago.  Goenka told us that Siddhartha discovered this technique at age 5, while sitting under a tree.  He sat under that tree for 30 years and meditated until he reached enlightenment and died peacefully in his 80s and under the same tree, teaching the technique to anyone who was open to learning it.

The technique makes perfect sense to me.  In fact, I find it to be brilliant.  Just as Freud theorized in the constancy principle that the way to keep the mind in a state of peaceful Zen (Freud also called this space ‘zero’) was to expel all negative affect and thoughts, this technique works to bring an awareness to the negativity that gets contained in the body as well as the mind.  The technique creates the space for someone to realize that they are often generating sankara - a craving reaction to a pleasant sensation or an abhorrent reaction to something that the mind/body does not want. 

The idea of the Vipassana is to learn through the meditation practice not to react to either pleasant or unpleasant situations and to remain unattached or equanimous to whatever sensations arises within the body (and by extension of course, the mind).  Since everything in life is Annica, or impermanent, if you remain unattached in each moment you can always find comfort in what IS, because what is will forever be changing.  

Think about how much peace and love there could be in this world if we could truly accept what is and never generate disappointment or anger towards others, and towards ourselves…  

I digress.  The Vipassana technique brings awareness to the sankara. With practice and the awareness that comes with it, one can be mindful to stop generating negative sankara (and not cling to positive sankara).  Furthermore, to keep practicing is to eradicate old sankara until the old pain that has manifested throughout one’s body gets resolved.  This takes dedication, commitment, persistence and will ultimately lead to enlightenment.  During enlightenment, the body will be felt as the pure energy source that it is, one with the Universe and all that is.

It was amazing to feel the technique working.  I was able to witness a thought and the way that thought affected my breath or my heartbeat (negative thoughts speed up the heart and make the breath shallow). 

The longer I sat, the deeper I went into the body to work through old negative sankara.  The longest discomfort I felt was in my shoulders, where anxiety is stored (not to mention too many years of carrying a heavy bag throughout the streets of New York City) and in my lungs (with 12 years of smoking sadly under my belt).  With my lungs in particular, it was incredible to feel myself work through the discomfort from the top of my lungs down to the bottom.  I could almost feel the smoke releasing my body.

At one point during the course, I felt discomfort inside my nose only to revisit the trauma I experienced when I had rhinoplastic surgery at age 16.  I cried from the memory’s emersion and then moved on with the psychical discomfort dissipating in tandem.  Thus, this past experience became complete in both body and mind. It was amazing.

While I practiced the Vipassana technique, I became more and more excited as my mind connected the experience to my professional interests.  In my world, it was not a coincidence that right before the course Somatic Experience re-emerged as a therapeutic practice that I am interested in (for those of you who were with me in Costa Rica, this is the type of therapy Barbara’s sister travels all over the world to practice). 

Somatic Experience is used with survivors of trauma. It is a form of talk therapy where the therapist helps the client to become aware of the bodily sensations they experience while they share about their trauma.  Just like the Vipassana technique, the idea of Somatic Experience is that the trauma will be released from being stored inside the body, thus helping to provide closure  both  within the body and the mind.  An infusion of the constancy principle and Vipassana, if you will!

            As I will soon begin to work with survivors of trauma at Safe Horizons in NYC (yep, not time to leave NYC yet!), I look forward to deepening and implementing my experience, knowledge and understanding of the mind/body connection into the mental health field to help others heal.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

With Never Ending Love,

Keri 

Therapy: A Space to Remind you: YOU MATTER!

I’ve been receiving energy-work for as long as I’ve been giving it...but I recently started working weekly with a therapist for the first time in years.

I’ve chosen to make a living holding space for others...but I haven’t given myself the same time and space to be witnessed.

Every session I’ve had so far, I’ve cried. And I don’t mean an occasional tear here and there, I mean I am letting it RIP. And not because I’m going through any major loss or depression or anything...in fact, my life is changing and transforming in the most amazing of ways right now.

I cry because someone is holding the space for me to be witnessed. I cry because someone else truly wants to SEE me and has a real interest in knowing my deepest thoughts and feelings, along with watching every move I make in the time we have together.

I cry because I feel like I MATTER again and I’ve spent way too long feeling like I didn’t. I spent way to much time putting everyone else’s needs and desires before my own. 

And it’s different then sharing with a friend...for me there’s always some place inside where I feel like I need to reciprocate or keep the sharing balanced when I’m being that intimate with a friend. It’s such a relief to have 50-minutes every week where I can just make it 110% about me.

It’s also so beautiful to remember that I get to do this for people for a living. Lots of times I’m so focused on what energy needs to be cleared with someone that I forgotten how valuable it is to just hold space and give someone else 110% of my attention and willingness to see them. That in of itself is transformative.

And I’m grateful now that I’m finding the balance between the two. It feels like starting therapy is just one of the ways in which I’m beginning (again) to own the “Receiver” in Keri Sender-Receiver.

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Mirrors

Blessed to have just spent a week in London, England at a 5Rhythms dance meditation workshop called “Mirrors”.

We danced deep with ourselves to get to know the reflections that our own ego characters cast, and looked into the mirrors that we hold for each other within relationships.

Mirrors can be distorted if you don’t look for the Truth. Projections warp faces, and stories can cloak reality in a shroud of unnecessary darkness.

I learned in this workshop that to truly see, you have to really listen.

And I’m grateful for all the mirrors in my Life which help me to see...

I cracked open in this workshop. It came out of nowhere. I put down my masks and allowed myself to be vulnerable and I was met with pure connection and pure love...

It’s amazing how much time and energy we spend wearing the masks our ego creates. So much energy protecting ourselves from connection and from Life when all we actually want to do is connect, and to Live.

Through Mirrors, I saw my ego and then went beyond it, straight to pure Soul in human form...What a deep dance that is.

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The Cycles of Life

Just spent the past five days at a 5Rhythms dance meditation workshop in Philadelphia called "Cycles". 

It was beautiful opportunity to honor humanity...to take the time to explore and investigate the Cycles of Life through movement and dance, and dance our stories about our own families and lineage. 

In preparation for the workshop, I sat down with my Mom and Dad and created this family tree. I learned some pretty amazing stuff, including that my Great Grandmother Katie (who I am named after) was a seamstress and a fortune-teller.

The picture on the right is Katie's daughter, my grandmother "Nanny". Nanny was one tough Brooklyn broad. She died when I was in High School, but I've always felt connected to her...One day a Hawaiian woman working at the Hele gas station saw my Nanny's energy around me and told me she's always with me.

Im about 10 years old in the picture on the left with my parents, and it pretty much sums up my relationship with them: lots of love and care and they totally have my back. 

I came out of this workshop with more compassion for my parents, a deep appreciation of my own story and really such a reverence for Being human. 

We may all have different experiences of how Life unfolds, but we were all born and take a very special and specific journey through childhood, adolescence and maturity to death. 

Life maybe painful at times, but it is certainly nothing less than truly beautiful.

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Mogley's Box

This beautiful box is from Varanasi, my favorite city (so far) in India.

It carried a vile of sweetgrass essential oil that a young local named Mogley gave me after he be'd with me at the outdoor crematory along the ghats in this most holiest of cities, explaining how death is not taboo in India...that only us Westerners think it's distasteful to see someone's head melting over a fire in the great wide open, or the local pack of stray dogs fighting over human bones.

It is - as Mogley pointed out - the natural order of things...

Even though the vile of oil has been long gone, I can still smell the sweetgrass on the box.

I can still see Mogley, sitting with me on the floor of his family's tiny apothecary, him explaining what oils would be best for me and me giving him energy-work, clearing some pain from his heart, in exchange for his warm and trustworthy hospitality. Both of us smitten with gratitude...

I can still feel myself getting lost and happily surrendering to his leadership as we weaved past cows and around piles of shit down the thin back streets of the City, where parades of mourners carrying their loved ones' coffins towards the ghat to be burned and I seemed to be the only tourist around...

I can still see the lassi shop that Mogley took me to. I can feel my ambivalence to the shop owners' offer of some Bhang.

As I stopped tonight to marvel at this beautiful box, I can feel India stir in my blood.

I can feel the level of aliveness that I felt in each and every moment there...Always something new to see or experience, always a little on edge because I was traveling alone and therefore always so present with everything and everyone around...

There is a certain level of trust in the chaos of India. A deep knowing that Spirit's got it covered there...and tonight Mogley's box is a beautiful reminder that Spirit's got it covered Everywhere.

Sometimes Being with family can be hard.

Sometimes being with family can be hard. I recall the Ram Dass quote -- "you think you're enlightened? Go spend a week with your parents..."

Yet being in relationship is our best access to transformation - our best access to Love - because others act as our mirrors reflecting back to us all that we offer the world...the good, the bad and the ugly.

And who better to be our best mirrors than the people who we are closest to...

This weekends' lunar eclipse highlighted family and romantic relationships...and it just so happens that my parents are here visiting in Hawaii.

We've shared stories, had laughs, eaten great meals together, went a wonderful talk-story event last night with Hawaiian music...but it hasn't been a walk in the park the entire time. We've argued, got angry, triggered, hurt. We all had our "stuff" come up.

For me, I realize how easy it is to get caught up in the 'blame game' and I how much I've been blaming my parents for all things I don't like about myself.

When we make our parents (or anyone!) "wrong", we're really just expressing our own self-hatred.

And when we attempt to control another's behavior, it's a futile attempt to control Life.

This visit hasn't been pretty 100% of the time...but at least I can use the hard times as an opportunity to look at myself and make the changes that are necessary to love ME more...and as a natural extension, to love THEM more.

Our parents gave us Life. They took care of us and loved us to the very best of their ability.

Forgive yourself for all the times that you didn't realize that Truth, and be grateful for the opportunity to remember.

#LOVErevolution #therealdeal #Cycles #ho'oponopono #Mirrors #Truth #unlock #unlockwhoyoureallyare

When I Didn't Think I was Beautiful...

When I was a teenager, my self-image was completely distorted so I had a nose job because I didn’t think I was attractive enough.

The surgery was so painful and traumatic…it wasn’t very long before I completely regretted and resented that I had the operation.

And I still thought that I was ugly.

It wasn’t until I ‘woke up’ at age 28 that I realized how beautiful I am.

And when I finally realized it and declared that I was beautiful, the strangest thing occurred…

Like magic - and for the first time ever - people and strangers EVERYWHERE starting approaching me to tell me I was beautiful: the guy at the corner bodega who sold me coffee every morning, a stranger on the subway, others walking down the street…it was a complete breakthrough.

I had always looked to others to tell me that I was attractive (or worthy, or good enough), but it wasn’t until I realized myself how beautiful I actually was, that the outside world started to tell me too.

We all have emotional trauma that acts as a block in our lives. What's your emotional trauma? For assistance releasing it: https://snapappointments.com/listing/2LG or email: keri@kerisender.com

You are the Dance...

Just spent a week in Maui for OneDanceTribe Hawaii 2017.

I danced through so much that it feels like I'm still processing and catching up from the shifts and ripples that all the movement invoked in the swirling tidepool that is (my) Life...

And I found God in the dance.
Or rather, I surrendered until Spirt danced me...

It's hard to explain the pure awe and utter delight in knowing that your hands and arms are moving but that you aren't the one moving them.

It's the experience of a deep knowing of the Truth that ultimately God is the one in control.

I also danced until I lost my mind...but not in a way that I felt crazy. In a way that I listened to my body so much that my brain stopped trying to run the show. My brain had nothing left to say.

I danced until I found my power, and then I gave it away to another dancer. I fell in love and got my heart broken and all to be reminded of the basics of Attachment 101.

I danced through crisis and longing, reached and pulled until I couldn't help but to yield to the dance. 

I was left with a choice to dance in struggle or dance to surrender...

Life can feel unsure at times. The dance can feel confusing and rocky...yet when we stop and remember that we are being danced by God...well, that we can trust.

Because we ARE the dance.

Practice Being Yourself...

At three years old I sat in a highchair around the dinner table and listened to everyone’s judgments and criticism of everyone else.

As I listened, a piece of my Soul slid right from out of the high-chair and landed all the way underneath the table on the kitchen floor.

I was mortified.

I wanted to hide.

If everyone else was being criticized, wouldn’t I also be judged?

This fear of being judged made it hard for me to be myself for the 25 years to come, until at age 28 my first spiritual teacher looked me straight in the eyes and said:

“Keri, when you walk into a room, half the people will love you and half of them will hate you before you even open your mouth to speak…

So you might as well just Be Yourself.”

Every day I practice Being MySelf.  

Every day I practice not giving a shit what people think when I walk into a room.