A Glimpse of Being Annihilated by Love...

Four months ago, something miraculous happened to me.

Cupid unexpectedly hit me with his curious arrow, I fell in Love, and that LOVE catalyzed me to experience the beginning of a deep and profound process.

The best way I can describe it is that I was getting a glimpse of being annihilated by Love.

Some of the ways that my ego / personal identity has been expressed out in the world were being revealed to me like never before.

As a result, I had no clue who I was, or where I was headed.

Many of my ideas and expectations about Life began to dissolve and for the first time in a while I was ridden with uncertainty.

I did not know where the Great Mystery was taking me. It was terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.

As I was being shown parts of my ego in such a powerful way, my new Love introduced me to the Enneagram.

The Enneagram is an ancient wisdom teaching of the human psyche, understood as a classification of nine interconnected personality types of the ego. (Note: As I'm learning from Enneagram teacher Eli Jaxon-Bear, since all you are IS Love, the 9 Enneagram types actually describes who you are not.)

***If you are interested in the Enneagram, this is the online course I’ve been listening to: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/from-fixation-to-freedom-499.html and here’s the book version too: https://www.amazon.com/Fixation-Freedom-Enneagram-Liberation/dp/1893840263***

In the ten years since I came out of my deep unconscious slumber, never before has my ego has been revealed in such stark and profound ways as it has been through the learning about the Enneagram.

I’ve learned that I’m a “3” type on the Enneagram, which means that my ego is determined to be successful to gain love and acceptance.

3's can be obsessed about maintaining and preserving a public image.

Sound familiar to any of you reading this???

I've realized that for most of my adolescent and adult life I’ve based my self-worth and self-love on my career and reputation, or on my business and its' appearance and growth.

My self-value has been found in proving to the world that I’m good enough, smart enough and capable enough.

Since learning about the Enneagram, I’m watching myself be in a process of letting go of the obsession of obtaining success...

I'm feeling less and less of an unconscious need to portray some image that I have my shit together or that I always practice what I preach.

...because the TRUTH is: I don’t.

I do my best, but I don’t always practice what I preach.

I have tantrums, go unconscious, and get reactive. In fact, one of the traps of the 3-type is that they can “fall asleep”.

So I've been practicing the REAL TRUTH: We don't need anyone to see us in a particular way in order to be Loved.

I'm open to the masks crumbling and allowing space for the strategies and tactics I've been using compensate for not feeling loved to dissolve.

I'm creating the possibility of a future for myself where instead of grasping onto an identity, I can LIVE and BE the Kundalini mantra: Sat Nam (ਸਤਿ ਨਾਮੁ).

Sat Nam means: "The Truth is my Identity."

For me Sat Nam is a practice of getting yourself out of the way and allowing Spirit to move you in every given moment.

Instead of clinging to a particular identity, it's about remembering that WHO We REALLY Are is LOVE.
Everything else is just ego.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, feeling and process about your own ego identity. Please share your comments below.



Self-Doubt. It’s a doozy.

Dare I say it may be the biggest fallacy in the way of us fulfilling our Divine Potential and allowing all of our dreams to come true.

Somewhere early-on along our journey here in this body, something happened to us. When that something happened, we made a decision that we were bad, wrong, not good enough and unworthy.

This is where we first began to doubt ourselves.

As time went on, things would happen that would remind and reinforce this idea us that we aren’t worthy...and the doubt would double up.

We may have had big dreams for ourselves and the world, but we built evidence and talked ourselves into an absurd and false storyline that we don’t matter, or that we can’t matter that much, or that our contribution to the world can’t really be that big.

Aren’t you ready to step into a new storyline that reflects a more confident, worthy and capable YOU?

Something happened to me recently that reminded me of the importance of eliminating my own self-doubt.

My friend and I were drinking Chai in her kitchen here in the jungles of Hawa’i on a beautiful Saturday afternoon before we were to embark on a fun hiking adventure to a secluded beach nearby.

All of sudden, we hear nearby voices of some men yelling. We rush out of the kitchen to find three young hunters with rifles calling for their dog that went stray on my friends’ land.

My friend starts to chastize the hunters, asks them what they are doing trespassing, and explains to them that she has cats that live here.

Then everything starts to move real slow.

I turn my head one way and watch as the black cat named Hina -- named after the Hawaiian Goddess of the Dark of the Moon --  jumps down from a tree to inspect the unwelcomed hunters that just arrived.
I turn my head the other way and watch as the hunting dog caught his first glimpse of Hina. He dashes for her, and before my friend and I could intervene the dog is attacking Hina.

It all happened so quick. Before we knew it, the hunters and the dog are gone, and a very injured Hina leaps underneath the nearby outdoor lua (toliet) to find respite.

The shock of what just happened hits my friend and I. She lays on the Earth next to the lua to comfort Hina as the cat coughs up blood and bellies out cries.

At first I don’t know what to do with myself or how to help.

After a few minutes of a “freeze” response, I realize the best thing I can do to help is to leave my friend alone to console Hina, and for me to go conduct a remote energy-healing on Hina from another part of the land.

So I find a grassy patch, grab my Tarot cards and get to work...

I primarily facilitate energy-clearings by allowing Spirit to work through me, and through the assistance of the Archangels, the Ascended Masters, and the personal angels and guides of both myself and the Being that I’m working on.

Never before have I seen and felt all the Light Beings’ presence so strongly.

I watch in my third eye as Archangel Raphael wraps Hina in a pink and green light.

I feel the monkey God Hanuman come to help and the Elephant God Ganesha as well.

I feel angels and guides healing Hina’s underbelly and her internal organs.

As I ask Spirit questions and pull Tarot cards for guidance, I am amazed at how positive the cards that came up are.

All signs are pointing to a miraculous healing and recovery. The dog seemed to have injured Hina’s two hind legs, but I am receiving messages that even those would work fine again.

When my friend takes a break from consoling Hina, she finds me and tells me that it isn’t looking good. Hina is starting to have those glazed over “Death” eyes.

I meekly attempt to assure my friend that my visions and sense is saying otherwise...but am I doubting myself. I am doubting the healing I was facilitating and the guidance I am receiving...

Hina doesn’t move from out underneath the lua that night or over the next couple of days. She isn’t eating or drinking and my friend is preparing for the worst.

My friend visits Hina with food and water every day, but it’s still unclear what kind of recovery she will have. Even if she survives the internal bleeding, it seems unlikely that Hina will ever be able to use her back legs again.

Ten days go by and Hina stays hidden to rest.

One night while I am home on the other side of the island, Hina comes into my awareness so strongly and I start having flashbacks of the night she was attacked. I start to feel worry that something has shifted.

I reach out to my friend to let her know what I am feeling and she tells me that a day and a half before, Hina had disappeared.

Four days go by without any sign of Hina.

We are coming to terms with the fact that she has gone off somewhere to die.

It’s confusing for me to hear this.

Again I feel myself fill with sadness and self-doubt.

Maybe I was only imagining the healing?

Maybe all the Angels and Beings and messages aren’t real after all?

Maybe they are just a product of wishful thinking, something I am making up?

Is it all just a fantasy, a delusion and illusion?

Two days later, I receive a text from my friend with a picture of Hina laying on the table in my friends’ kitchen that says, “Guess who’s back, and walking and jumping without a scrach?!”

Not only has Hina survived, her body is back to normal.

The whole experience has been magical.

Through the trauma and experience of Hina’s attack, I was reminded of who I really am and what I am really capable of.

I am a powerful energetic healer and I can make miracles happen. I facilitate shifts in reality and create space for transformation.

And I will no longer allow anyone - including myself - to ever to imply otherwise.

It’s time for all of us to remember who we really are and to confidently step fully into our Divine gifts and contributions for the healing and transformation of this planet.

It’s time for us all to let go of the self-doubt that’s in the way of us unlocking who we really are.

Here’s an Eliminating Self-Doubt MP3 Energetic Clearing that I created to assist with this process. I'm offering it to you for FREE until July 1, 2019. 

Download it now and listen to it often so that you too can remember who you really are. You can download the clearing

Healing Rose.jpg

The Importance of Getting it Out (Revisited)

I recently got the ‘download’ to write something about Freud’s Constancy Principle called “The Importance of Getting it Out”. I started to do some research and then realized I already wrote the article in 2015! (Time to start collecting my writings.) Here it is:

The Importance of Getting It Out


Lately I am reminded of the importance of ‘getting it out’ – of sharing my own thoughts and feelings and of holding the space for others to do the same.

Sometimes we think that if we ignore what’s going on, it will go away on its own.  Actually it’s the opposite — whatever resists, persists.

At other times we feel the need to ‘fix’ it all.

What if we just need to UNEARTH it all though, to bring light to our thoughts and feelings in order to accept what IS and move forward?

What if it’s more of a dumping, and an emptying out, than a fixing?

Thus far on my spiritual journey, I have encountered a long list of psychological and spiritual philosophies and practices that in their unique way, remind me to get it out:

In his Constancy Principle, Sigmund Freud theorized that the way to keep the mind in a state of peaceful zen (or ‘zero’ as he called it) is to expel all negative affect and thoughts. 

In the Vipassana technique of meditation taught by the Buddha Gotama in Burma, energy that is built up in the body gets released when it is observed internally. As a result, these old reactions (called Sankaras) rise to the surface to dissolve.

Landmark Education provides courses to teach human beings how to gain internal awareness and express themselves authentically in order to complete unresolved issues through the power of language and communication.

In Access Consciousness Bars™, a non-invasive energy-work technique of touching points on the head to remove old and unconscious energy, we create the space to function on a new level of awareness.

In 5 Rhythms Dance Meditation, we powerfully empty the energy out of our bodies on the dance floor through our own unique movements.

While there may be lots of different flavors of spiritual ice cream to eat, the main ingredient is the same in each recipe: Holding your thoughts and feelings in will only block you from the resolution you seek.

So let it out and let it go, in whatever way is true to you!



Finding JOY

I’m in the process

of re-connecting with 

a different kind of JOY.

It’s a Joy that’s independent 

from any other.

It’s a Joy that I find 

deep inside.

It’s sitting sprawled legs

over the table on my lanai

in the warm glimmer of

white string lights 

as I listen to a still Ocean

and palm leaves 

rustling in the breeze.

It’s watching the jacaranda 

trees sprinkle purple 


across fields 

of blonde 

tanglehead and pili grass.

It’s waking up first thing 

in the morning 

and already 

Being grateful

for this day,

for what I have.

Yes, this JOY 

this JOY

does not 



anything else.

Photo: fine Art America. 


ROckin the button doWn

Ever wear an outfit after years of not wearing it, and it brings you back to the time to when you last did?

Rocking this button-down reminds me of 2015 when I came back to Hawai’i from India to move in with my boyfriend at the time. 

The relationship was new and anything and everything was possible...

And I was the version of me that I wanted to Be: confident, successful, respected, grounded, calm. Practicing what I preach.

What actually ended up happening is that I became an inauthentic version of myself because I didn’t want to lose him...but I ended up losing myself along the way.

Four years later I’m back on track...which is most likely why I can bust out the outfit again.

I lost myself in the attachment and made myself small to make him feel big.

This was an ancestral wound that I was holding onto. Generations and generations of women not allowing themselves to BE fully in their Power in relationship...and in LIFE.

So a *News Flash* for those who need to hear it:


If people have a negative reaction to who you really are, THAT’s THEIR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS.

Be yourself no matter what. 

Even if it intimidates and threatens the people you most love and care about.

Be your badass self.

And find your own version of what makes you happy, of what fills you up with joy...

“Strong women excite men and intimidate boys” 💪🏾


Moving Beyond Projections and Transference

I’m a double Gemini, which means I came into this reality dominated by my intellect. Yet I’m a firm believer that while understanding something intellectually is helpful, it is really in having the experience of a Spiritual phenomenon where we can fully integrate Life teachings in a long lasting way.

To feel something, to KNOW something in your bones, is very different than conceptualizing it in your brain.

During the past ten years I’ve encountered way more than a handful of eye-opening, transformational experiences. I feel very blessed to have God or Spirit or whatever you want to call the Great Mystery, show me different realities, Truths, and awareness’s through the experiences I’m having in this particular physical and human body.

In one of the more profound disclosures of Truth, several years ago I was able to have and hold such a deep clarity that I experientially witnessed how I (we) see Life through a filter of our projections and transference that’s based on the past.

When I was able to see Life without this tainted lens, everything was empty, but it in the most amazing way. People and situations simply existed, without any meaning. 

I was truly witnessing a movie, unfolding in a series of crisp and crystal clear moments, that I had never seen before.  This new experience of reality lasted for several weeks.

I remember on some level, I felt a coldness to Life.

I was very much devoid of any lasting emotions. Feelings and sensations came and went, as did colors and shapes and the subtle movements of faces and yet every moment seemed to be witnessed and then simply replaced by the next one. I was alert and aware that every image my brain perceived was evaporating with the arrival of the very next “NOW”.

And even as I write this, I can sense and remember the possibilities that I felt were infused in each and every moment of this cold, hard reality.

Life is literally bursting to shift into something entirely unknown, waiting for our brain to stop the wash-rinse-repeat cycle, to escape from the endless loop of madness that is a reality constantly on some version of replay.  

In those weeks I knew that only the fear of the unknown was in the way of a completely different reality emerging…

When we move along our spiritual path, we can often have profound experiences that we then want to chase. I know that longing to experience this deep clarity again is not what will bring it forth. At the same time, I do believe this kind of clarity is possible and sustainable for all of us through intentions and increased awareness…which brings me to some educational and information dissemination to increase your awareness.

If you need some clarification, remember that projections are your thoughts, feelings and beliefs that you impose onto other people and situations. Transference is a particular type of projection that’s based on your early and first relationships - most commonly family members and/or primary caregivers.

Transference also happens within significant adult relationships too, although it’s likely that parental transference showing up as well.  It’s why you feel like you are in relationship with people who have the same qualities over and over again.  

Your reptilian brain, the part of your brain that is responsible for survival (and the flight, fight and freeze response we experience through trauma) – interprets, perceives and then re-creates similar experiences because it survived them.

It does this without any judgment of the experience being good or bad. It simply re-enacts, projects and transfers because it knows that it made it through the experience, and it wants to survive again.

Thus, if we come with a deep understanding that all of Life is a movie being projected out from our minds, then we can see that actually we are not seeing clearly at all.

Our reptilian brain is so stuck in its survival loop that it can’t see people or situations as they actually are in reality.

Instead, we look and perceive through a distorted lens.

I recently witnessed all of my mother wounds, and my subsequent issues with women come up to clear as they were transferred onto one single woman that is currently in my life.

As this energy emerged and I treaded through the mud and muck of my past, my mind projected old scenes and feelings into my relationship with her.

It reminded me of my distorted lens, as well as my experience of living a life free of projections and transference.

Through my own combination of receiving talk-therapy and energy-work, I’m working to dissolve these past experiences from my brains’ hardwiring.

I feel compelled to assist you to experience the same kind of clarity that I have around this subject.

HERE is a link to an energetic clearing MP3 called “Get Your Past Out of the Present.” It’s designed for you to let go of all of the energy of your projections and transference, so that you can life a Life that is grounded in reality and not clouded by your past.

Listen to it often and remember that it’s the awareness that causes shifts, not the struggle to change things.

A reality free of the past is definitely a possibility for our future.












Insidious Emotional Trauma & Lessons of LOVE

I recently started working with my own talk therapist to dive deeper and heal my own emotional trauma.

The thing about emotional trauma, is that it is insidious...and sometimes we can go through life not even realizing that there were profound moments in our lives that have had a tremendous impact on us.

Most trauma is *relational*, as my dear friend and colleague Somatic Experiencing therapist & trauma expert Lauryn Arkin-Kimmel recently pointed out to me.

Even when encountering a trauma like a car accident, we feel the deep emotional pain of feeling alone and isolated in our recovery.

And the way we love often becomes colored by the way our loved ones loved us and the way we perceived and interpreted love. We often re-enact those patterns in our current relationships.

Whatever your wounds are, it’s futile to get angry at someone else for not showing up the way you want them to.

Accept others for who they are and who they aren’t. That’s REAL LOVE.

Find compassion in another's limitations, and first and foremost find compassion with your own limitations.

Everyone has their emotional trauma that they bring to the table. If you take it personally, you’re just creating a space for victimhood and suffering.

When you truly know your own wounds, you break free of the cycle. You can give yourself what you’re looking for from others...and then don’t be surprised if they end up giving you what you wanted all along.

Relationships are complicated, but the simplest formula for success is to treat yourself with the utmost compassion and respect.

Treat yourself as if you were your only child. Have reverence for your pain, but know that it’s only old stories being resurfaced.

You get to choose whether to keep playing the story over again or whether it’s just old energy coming up to clear.

Magic happens in the awareness. Always. 
When you really know yourself, when you can study yourself like an observer, then you *always* know exactly how to treat you...


You Are Not EVER the Same. EMBRACE CHANGE. ✨💫🌟

You can NEVER actually be stuck or stagnant. 

In fact, in Theravada Buddhist phenomenology we learn that your body is made up of kalapas, subatomic particles about 1/46,656th the size of a piece of dust.

When Siddhartha Gautama the Buddha became enlightened through Vipassana meditation, he discovered that our bodies (and this reality) are simply kalapas that arising and passing away at a rate that is so rapid it actually makes you believe that everything is solid and real.

It is not. 

You are literally never the same.

So don't think for a moment that you are stagnant or stuck.

You are ALWAYS changing.

And no matter what you are going through right now, it is guaranteed to change at some point or another. So...

What if you could be happy knowing that everything is always changing?

What if you could be happy no matter what and allow yourself to change?

What if you let yourself and Life show up differently in every moment?

Who would you Be if you really knew that you were actually wavelets of energy in this reality that are merely arising and passing away?


The Insidious Trauma of Mistrust

The great thing about being a therapist and holding space for people to clear their old shit is that I get to see my own shit right before my eyes.

We are ALL each other’s mirrors in this Life, but my line of work is designed to bring the mirror into the forefront of awareness. It’s one of the things I love best about doing what I do. I get to clear myself by holding space for others to clear too.

So many of my mirrors lately have been working with mistrust. 

And it’s been a powerful awakening to my own issues of mistrust. 

I can contextualize it: my parents grew up on the streets of Brooklyn. Every day they were exposed to the Fears of inner-city life. 

Every turn they thought someone was out to rob them, get one of over on them, take from them...in fact, they finally moved to the suburbs of New Jersey when both their car was broken into (with a note attached to saying thanks for all the great 8-tracks!) and their apartment was robbed.

I was born in the Jersey suburbs and spared the perils of City life...until I consciously chose to move there after college. 

This past summer in NYC I ended up letting go of City life that much more, and I got clear on just how much “heart hardening” there was in my own 12 years of Brooklyn life as a young adult.

Now I can’t walk by a sick stray kitty without getting incredibly upset. 

How I would ride the subway with homeless people dirty and smelling up the entire car and beginning for money and not even look at them...is beyond me. 

How could that not harden the heart and create mistrust in this world?

I see how I still carry that mistrust in my cells.

We all do in some way, shape or form.

We all grew up with some kind of trauma — whether it was ours or passed down from our lineage.

Most of us are caught in some kind of cycle of violence or abuse just by being Alive in this world. 

Some of it is so deeply hidden in the unconscious that it’s easy to miss.

The trauma of mistrust. Insidious and sneaky as the perception of it actually is. 

The beautiful thing though, is that the more we become aware of the ways our own mistrust has taken form, the more we shed Light, the looser the grip becomes on us. 

And I DO believe with 110% of my heart that we can clear this mistrust...clear it for ourselves and clear it for the collective. 


Post-Vipassana Musings: THIS WILL ALSO CHANGE

Sometimes I get the oddest downloads...

On the last day of the 10-day silent meditation course I just took, I saw an image of THIS: cut out letters taped above my couch of one of the main teachings of Vipassana. 

It’s such a beautiful reminder of the impermanence of Life, and the practice of remaining equanimous amidst all of Life’s changes. 

This is how the Buddha achieved enlightenment — by ceasing to react with cravings or resistance to anything and everything that occurs on the outside, as well as within. 

He discovered a meditation technique whereby focusing on the sensations of the body, you can release all of the old reactions (saṃskāra) until there is no more accumulation. 

No more house to hold the Soul.
Just pure Light.

I am so grateful for this meditation technique and all the Vipassana courses I’ve taken.

I always experience transformation afterwards...and I can already feel my own being CHANGING.

You are never stuck or stagnant. In fact, your body and this reality are simply particles of energy that arise and pass away at a rate that is so rapid it actually makes you believe that everything is solid and real.

It is not. 

So allow yourself to change. 


LOVE Doesn't Look a Certain Way

This upcoming weekend is the 5 year anniversary that my ex-boyfriend Marc decided to take his own life. 

Marc left me in the relationship and got a new girlfriend who had the great displeasure of finding him hanging in his Brooklyn apartment during one of the coldest, darkest and bleakest winters in NYC that I could certainly remember.

Even though we were apart, Mark sent me some messages before he left reminding me of how he truly felt about me and how much he still loved me. 

I was still so angry and sad he left our relationship that I wasn’t able to receive his communication. In fact, I was so angry at him for leaving, that I missed a very big red flag that he was planning to kill himself. 

And I was holding onto my anger so much that I didn’t get to let Marc know how much he meant to me before he died...

Marc taught me that Love doesn’t have to look a certain way. He’s been teaching lately me to let go of anger and control, to trust in who I really am and that I am loved by the people in my life.

His death has taught me how important it is to let the people that you truly care about, know it. 

I love you, Marc. 

I’m sad that you’re not here anymore, but I get more clear with each year that passes why it was destined for you to go.

Photo by Marc. RIP

Photo by Marc. RIP

You've Come a Long Way, Baby.

Many people don’t know that I had a whole other past life in THIS life working in New York City government and politics. 

This first pic is of me sitting on the steps of City Hall, where I could often be found smoking cigarettes.

The other encapsulates what I was doing the other couple of hours when I wasn’t working 65+ hours a week — drinking at a local pub!

Past life, indeed. 

It’s interesting that Spirit has been giving me lots reminders of this old life lately...presumably for some healing.

I hated the government in college, but I wanted to move from New Jersey to NYC with the rest of my friends when I graduated school and somehow by the time June of my senior year came along I was offered a job for a State Assembly Member in Manhattan (because even then I was a powerful manifestor ;).

When I first started working in government at the ripe old age of 22 I was so naive (and still VERY much unconscious and asleep). I actually thought that maybe I would be able to create the change that I wanted to see in the world from the inside, instead of using the protest and resistance tactics that I had been accustomed to.

For a while I really did. I was a part of making some cool shit happen in New York City — like the emergency contraception pill being offered over-the-counter in City pharmacies, legalizing gay marriage in New York State, increasing transgender rights, etc.
I also saw the shadow side of government. As I worked my way to “senior staff” of the New York City Council I saw up close and personal all of the ugly of politics — the hidden agendas, the insatiable egoic desire for power, the political favoring and posturing, lies, deceit, etc.

Fortunately, I started to practice yoga at the end of my tenure in City Hall...and I began to wake up. 

I’ll never forget the moment when I first experienced a glimpse of transformation and spiritual awakening:

I am in the basement of City Hall, finishing up a conference call at some obscene hour and out of nowhere I have my first known moment of being able to step outside and observe myself. I hang up my office phone and experience a stillness like I never have before. And I think, “I don’t belong here. This is not what I want to do with my life.”

And thus, the transformation began. A couple months later I quit my job to become the therapist I had dreamed of becoming, but always wondered if I was too crazy to pull off. ;)

So here I am, ten years later. And I have declared a moratorium on anything government-related or political from my life because of the bad taste that was left in my mouth from my experiences...but maybe it’s time for a breakthrough. Maybe it’s time to reclaim the baby that I dumped out with the bathwater...

An astrologer in India told me that in the future I would teach meditation and spiritual principles in government. It would be so wonderful to contribute to the system in that way, given where I was and what I have learned since.

I am grateful for all the skills, knowledge and expertise that my previous life awarded me. It’s definitely assisted me in creating the structures and organization required to build and grow the business I have now.

And upon further reflection, I’m so grateful for how far I’ve come over the past ten years. I’m grateful for yoga which catalyzed my life transformation. I acknowledge myself for having the bravery, balls and courage to leave something that was no longer in integrity for me...and for continuing to leap and jump into different versions of myself, as I move forward to unlock who I really am.


New Year Blessings from the Dead Dove

This morning when I was practicing yoga a beautiful Hawaiian dove made a suicide mission right into the roof of my townhouse.

I heard a pretty loud “smack” and then watched as the bird plopped on my lanai and  instantly died.
I could feel the energy of trauma and shock from the impact and then could feel the bird’s soul leave it’s little body.

The City girl in me almost started to have a fit at the idea of removing the bird, but my mind quickly transitioned into a calm inquisition with Spirit.

What does this mean? Why did the bird die on my lanai, and why did I have to watch it?

After my yoga practice I gathered my dustpan and gently scooped the bird up. I blessed it and wished its’ soul a beautiful transition into a next incarnation that would bring a most auspicious life.

As I released it to the Earth, the point became clear to me: Death is beautiful, Keri. And it’s okay. That bird’s soul was ready to move on.

How perfect for the first few days of this new year. As I’m letting go and allowing things to die in my own life — relationships that have expired their shelf life, old fears, stories, and thought patterns that don’t serve me, all of the struggle of the past — and that beautiful bird was a wonderful reminder that it is indeed time to move on.


Your High Expectations of Others is About You Loving Yourself Even More

I’m getting super present to the high expectations I have for others in my Life.

And I’m ever so clear that those expectations are merely a projection of the high expectations that I have for myself.

I haven’t been willing to look at this area of my Life because somewhere along my journey I decided that if I had high expectations of myself, I would always push myself to make shit happen and be productive with my life.

So in a way, the expectations I’ve had of myself have really served me...

The dark side, though is that I end up putting a lot of pressure on myself and on others. 

My self-compassion becomes limited.

I saw that this Thanksgiving with this infected abscess on my face.

I was really hard on myself during the whole thing: mad at myself for trying to pop it like a pimple, mad at myself for going into the Ocean which made it more infected, mad at myself for not being more educated about antibiotics versus more natural medicine...etc, etc.

So it all becomes even MORE of a blessing. 

Isn’t it amazing how every thing that happens in our lives is part of a larger web that’s being woven surrounding our personal evolution? 

The gratitude extends *beyond*  Thanksgiving.

I am so grateful, and I’m so in love with Life in all of the mysterious and fantastic ways it supports us.

It is truly magical. 

P.s. SO grateful to have this mug back to its original form. I am healing really quickly, so thank you to all for your thoughts and prayers. I’ve been receiving so much care and concern and it’s really touching. Thank you. XO

#sharinforthegreatergood #compassion #poliahu #gratitude


Full Moon Thanksgiving at the ER

The last place I expected to be on this Full Moon Thanksgiving was at the ER treating an infected abscess on my face, the but the lessons of gratitude and perspective is worth it.

I feel SO blessed to have my health today. SO blessed that I don’t normally have a piece of my face sliced open. I feel SO blessed for family and friends and ohana who love me and care for me.

And I am forever grateful for Sherry Brown Guillermo — not only for bringing me over vegan tofurky when I told her that I wouldn’t go to a party with my face looking like this, but also for urging me to go the ER and get checked out. YOU are an Earth Angel, Sherry and I love you. 

I could have done some serious damage to my brain or face or bloodstream if I left this untreated. 

So I’m grateful for taking care of my body...and my body knew what to do. 

My mind was resisting driving to the hospital, but my body knew it was the best thing to do.

The body always knows...

And I’m grateful for my yoga practice. I took it off the mat tonight and used my breathe to move through the pain of the procedure I had.

I often judge technology, but tonight Im also so grateful to be able to FaceTime with my parents and to be able to talk and communicate with loved ones while I was here in the hospital tonight. 

The Truth is that even though we are ultimately ONE, we are also alone. 

We will die alone. 

It was hard to be in the ER alone on Thanksgiving. It felt like a Spiritual lesson for my life right now...and at the same time, my phone kept me connected, and soothed the harshness of that Truth.

Life is a gift. This body is a gift. 

Good health is a gift. 

Love your loved ones and be generous with them. Be kind and loving always, be mindful and manage where you are directing your energy.